A single tear, a thought of the past. A single drop of salty water that makes me think of what had happened, all that had been gained, lost, and constant in these past few months I had with you.
I gained the ability to love, such a beautiful thing that seems so worthless now. Theres no point to love. Its just a feeling, an unnecessary emotion, just like hope or grief. I gained time with you, even if it wasnt as much as either of us hoped. The memories that stick forever are the best and the worst, and I had both with you. Your laugh made the worst situations sting less, even though the wounds were the same.
I lost my independence. I cant live alone in my mind anymore, with the addiction to a hug and a clasping hand on mine. I lost all hope of a clean amputation from you. Youre stuck in my mind and my heart, and I cant get rid of you. I lost all my emotions by the end. Being emotionally dead was the best way to numb the pain that was caused. Otherwise, Id be screaming inside and out, the pain too much, Id go insane. I lost you. That was the final straw of what I could handle. After that, my life hasnt been right.
The one constant factor throughout my past is that Ive always been loved, and whenever I loved, it just messed up, and I was smashed into pieces in my mind. I dont know how I survived this long, with such a weak emotional base. Maybe it was because I knew one day, my heart wouldnt be squeezed until there was no love to leak out. And with you, that was true. My heart wasnt broken by you.
It was broken by what you unintentionally did. By a stupid thing, that should never have happened. By an accident of all things. Because thats what all the claims were. Of a mistake. One stupid blunder.
A fatal blunder. You died, by no fault of your own. I was there, I watched your skull crack as you fell, the juices of your brain dribble out, mixed with your blood. The hard concrete, the thick metal of the dark blue car, and your bones, slammed brutally together to ruin the sanity left.
A single tear. Thats all Ill let out. I dont need to cry any more. Its not like youll know. Youre gone now. I gained you, and I lost you. The constant factor in my life is me, and it always will be. Just me. And I think thats best. For your sake.













